My daughter-in-law (DIL) has two kids from her previous marriage and a child with my son. She asked me to babysit, and I agreed to watch my grandson but said I’d need to be paid for babysitting her other two kids. She didn’t respond, but the next day, I found her locks changed and couldn’t get into her house. When I called, she told me I wasn’t welcome anymore because I treat her kids differently.

I tried to explain it wasn’t favoritism—I love her kids, too—but babysitting three children is overwhelming for me as a retired person. I offered to watch my grandson since he’s family but felt I needed compensation for all three. Now, there’s tension in the family, and my son is stuck in the middle.

I feel hurt and guilty for the stress caused but also believe my boundaries should be respected. How can I address this without deepening the rift?

Sincerely,
Helen”